Impossible Whopper, No Onion, Heavy Pickle

I have a weekly audience with the King
and I drive away with a burger without cow,
enjoying both the flavor and texture
of the patty — glad that a fellow mammal
did not die for my lunch.

If I eat less beef, I might even live long
enough to try some industrially grown meat,
just muscle, no nerves, no brain, no guilt.

But I have no interest in non-alcoholic beer
or mocktails. I need the tipsy to talk
to my beautiful muses at the bar.

Though it would be an interesting experiment
to see if the taste of Pinot Noir without alcohol
would still grant a placebo-effect charm.

(For today’s prompt, write a taste poem.)

About Bartholomew Barker

Bartholomew Barker is one of the organizers of Living Poetry, a collection of poets and poetry lovers in the Triangle region of North Carolina. Born and raised in Ohio, studied in Chicago, he worked in Connecticut for nearly twenty years before moving to Hillsborough where he makes money as a computer programmer to fund his poetry habit.
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14 Responses to Impossible Whopper, No Onion, Heavy Pickle

  1. Sarah E Barker says:

    okay, I don’t follow the thought; but I liked it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jsimpsonpoet says:

    Yep to this and I followed the thought!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Michele Lee says:

    “burger without cow” 🙌🏻 Fun conclusion!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. berniebell1955 says:

    “Though it would be an interesting experiment
    to see if the taste of Pinot Noir without alcohol
    would still grant a placebo-effect charm.”

    It’s interesting that you should say that. My liver threatened to turn into foie gras – politely suggested that I give up alcohol – and I have done so – with some reluctance – but – needs must.

    But….it’s one of the pleasures of life – in the evening – sitting down with a glass of white wine – sipping as Mike makes a meal.

    I’m going to try having apple juice instead ( ‘fake’ wine’ – hmmmm – v. doubtful about that), and I did wonder if, maybe, psychologically something in my brain would fool me into thinking that there wasn’t much difference, and that I would still feel relaxed? We are a complex species, and I wonder….

    I wonder … a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think it’s very likely that the same psychological effect would be achieved if someone could replicate the scent and taste of wine without any alcohol. Synthehol can’t be invented too soon.


  5. JeanMarie says:

    non alcoholic Pinot is called grape juice.
    your body would be happy

    Liked by 1 person

  6. LOL Yep, Fake pleasure and fake morals, fake buzz and fake truth…
    I like this write, you’re milking it.😜

    Liked by 1 person

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