Impossible Whopper, No Onion, Heavy Pickle

Posted on 2023-04-19 by Bartholomew Barker

I have a weekly audience with the King
and I drive away with a burger without cow,
enjoying both the flavor and texture
of the patty — glad that a fellow mammal
did not die for my lunch.

If I eat less beef, I might even live long
enough to try some industrially grown meat,
just muscle, no nerves, no brain, no guilt.

But I have no interest in non-alcoholic beer
or mocktails. I need the tipsy to talk
to my beautiful muses at the bar.

Though it would be an interesting experiment
to see if the taste of Pinot Noir without alcohol
would still grant a placebo-effect charm.

(For today’s prompt, write a taste poem.)

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About Bartholomew Barker

Bartholomew Barker is an organizer of Living Poetry, a collection of poets in the Triangle region of North Carolina where he has hosted a monthly feedback workshop for more than decade. His first poetry collection, Wednesday Night Regular, written in and about strip clubs, was published in 2013. His second, Milkshakes and Chilidogs, a chapbook of food inspired poetry was served in 2017. He was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2021. Born and raised in Ohio, studied in Chicago, he worked in Connecticut for nearly twenty years before moving to Hillsborough where he lives and writes poetry.
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14 Responses to Impossible Whopper, No Onion, Heavy Pickle

  1. Sarah E Barker's avatar Sarah E Barker says:
    2023-04-19 at 21:11

    okay, I don’t follow the thought; but I liked it.

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. jsimpsonpoet's avatar jsimpsonpoet says:
    2023-04-19 at 23:47

    Yep to this and I followed the thought!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Michele Lee's avatar Michele Lee says:
    2023-04-20 at 00:19

    “burger without cow” 🙌🏻 Fun conclusion!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. berniebell1955's avatar berniebell1955 says:
    2023-04-20 at 04:32

    “Though it would be an interesting experiment
    to see if the taste of Pinot Noir without alcohol
    would still grant a placebo-effect charm.”

    It’s interesting that you should say that. My liver threatened to turn into foie gras – politely suggested that I give up alcohol – and I have done so – with some reluctance – but – needs must.

    But….it’s one of the pleasures of life – in the evening – sitting down with a glass of white wine – sipping as Mike makes a meal.

    I’m going to try having apple juice instead ( ‘fake’ wine’ – hmmmm – v. doubtful about that), and I did wonder if, maybe, psychologically something in my brain would fool me into thinking that there wasn’t much difference, and that I would still feel relaxed? We are a complex species, and I wonder….

    I wonder … a lot.

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    • Bartholomew Barker's avatar Bartholomew Barker says:
      2023-04-20 at 18:26

      I think it’s very likely that the same psychological effect would be achieved if someone could replicate the scent and taste of wine without any alcohol. Synthehol can’t be invented too soon.

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  5. JeanMarie's avatar JeanMarie says:
    2023-04-20 at 08:44

    non alcoholic Pinot is called grape juice.
    your body would be happy

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. Didier Beaugrand's avatar Didier Beaugrand says:
    2023-04-24 at 10:25

    LOL Yep, Fake pleasure and fake morals, fake buzz and fake truth…
    I like this write, you’re milking it.😜

    Liked by 1 person

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