Hansel

Posted on 2025-10-30 by Bartholomew Barker

She slinks over to me sitting at the bar,
touches my arm, twirls her red hair, asks
about my job and family. Tells me she loves
to bake. Her oven is always hot. Calls me cute
and with a wink says she just wants to eat me up.

Says I should come for dinner, which I do. Her cottage
deep in the woods is painted like a gingerbread house.
She greets me with milk and cookies and fawns
over my thick hair and strong muscles while I try
not to think of her as a grandmother.

She sits me on her couch, does a sexy little dance.
But rather than excited, I’m getting sleepy.
She unbuttons my shirt yet I cannot lift my hand
to touch her fiery hair. I try to speak but only slur.
She smirks something about a secret ingredient.

Then I am naked on her counter, being crushed
by a rolling pin yet I am strangely calm.
Just noting odd sensations of pulling and popping
and cracking sounds more felt than heard.
A sprinkle of cinnamon and slides me into the oven.

Being baked was quite pleasant and warm
though I didn’t like the smell of my mustache
burning off. It was only after the flesh had risen
and cooled that I could feel it. Each bite.
Each nibble. I beg her to end it. Chomp off my head.

“No. I like to hear your screams.”

(Happy Halloween, dear readers! In further publication news, a couple of my old ditties have been posted at Chewers by Masticadores including my 2023 Halloween poem and one for Thanksgiving. Thank you, Nolcha!

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About Bartholomew Barker

Bartholomew Barker is an organizer of Living Poetry, a collection of poets in the Triangle region of North Carolina where he has hosted a monthly feedback workshop for more than decade. His first poetry collection, Wednesday Night Regular, written in and about strip clubs, was published in 2013. His second, Milkshakes and Chilidogs, a chapbook of food inspired poetry was served in 2017. He was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2021. Born and raised in Ohio, studied in Chicago, he worked in Connecticut for nearly twenty years before moving to Hillsborough where he lives and writes poetry.
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25 Responses to Hansel

  1. Michele Lee's avatar Michele Lee says:
    2025-10-30 at 21:29

    😱 Well done, Bart. (pun intended)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. trE's avatar trE says:
    2025-10-30 at 21:40

    You know… I just wasn’t expecting that, but I should have been, given the title.

    You are on fire this week, sir! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Cindy Georgakas's avatar Cindy Georgakas says:
    2025-10-31 at 01:22

    This is soo good, Bart!!!! We outta slap your ….. you decide.. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. JeanMarie's avatar JeanMarie says:
    2025-10-31 at 03:26

    This was 98% done last week and you did a great job with the tweaks. Nice to see your older Halloween poems getting a new readership. Congrats for that. You’re really twisted you know but it makes for some good poetry.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. berniebell1955's avatar berniebell1955 says:
    2025-10-31 at 04:52

    Jeeeez Bart! I mean….just…..I wouldn’t like to be in your head sometimes1 A v. good poem though – takes you there – even if you don’t want to be…there.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz says:
    2025-10-31 at 07:26

    What a wonderful treat for this Halloween day!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. crazy4yarn2's avatar crazy4yarn2 says:
    2025-10-31 at 08:47

    You had me giggling all the way through this, Bart!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. crazy4yarn2's avatar crazy4yarn2 says:
    2025-11-01 at 20:24

    Yes, it was creepy, too. But the woman’s pickup technique reminded me of what I saw and heard when I lived in Los Angeles. That’s what gave me a giggle.

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Nicole Smith's avatar Nicole Smith says:
    2025-11-02 at 00:04

    I like the darkness of this one.

    Liked by 1 person

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