When my ex would sneeze
she’d bring her delicate hand
up to her nose, turn to one side,
spasm and toot— as though a unicorn
had just farted a rainbow.
For me, the pressure builds
below my brain then my face crumples,
neck pulls back to get a running start,
hands cover as though praying
and I expel a noise like a tuba puking
a drum played by a hobgoblin
waking my dog from a deep dream.
Instead of “God bless you” or “Gesundheit”,
I say “Good catch” and wipe my hands on my trousers.
(For today’s prompt, write a sound poem.)
About Bartholomew Barker
Bartholomew Barker is an organizer of Living Poetry, a collection of poets in the Triangle region of North Carolina where he has hosted a monthly feedback workshop for more than decade. His first poetry collection, Wednesday Night Regular, written in and about strip clubs, was published in 2013. His second, Milkshakes and Chilidogs, a chapbook of food inspired poetry was served in 2017. He was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in 2021. Born and raised in Ohio, studied in Chicago, he worked in Connecticut for nearly twenty years before moving to Hillsborough where he lives and writes poetry.
Bartholomew Barker, Poet 
“Good catch “ was a good one!😂🤩
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Thanks! I remember laughing out loud the first time someone said that to me in that context and then it turned into a coughing fit.
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LOL
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Glad I can still make you laugh, JM. Thanks!
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Previously posted in m’blog…
“Klingon Cold……
Bartholomew Barker https://bartbarkerpoet.com/ has a head-cold – and he wrote this Fraiku about it……
“The back of my mouth
tastes like a bag of old nickels
nose oozing meh”
To which I responded with my own – kind-of Haiku – I’m never very clear about what is and what isn’t a Haiku….
“When I have a cold
My head exclaims in Klingon
‘Accccch-tarr-phu’tu-g’rtch.”
Then a Klingon pedant informed me that…. “majQa’! Though you misspelled the tlhIngan. It is more properly rendered “aH tar pu’ tu’ gharch”.
My lord – it’s come to something when I’m corrected in Klingon!”
Wiped on your trousers – you mucky pup!
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Warriors aren’t squeamish about body fluids. In fact, to properly pronounce some of the consonants one must expectorate at least a little.
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To play the part
And make it fit
When speaking Klingon
You spit a bit!
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wiped on your trousers! yech.
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I’ve been a bachelor long enough I’m slowly going feral.
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