Author Archives: Bartholomew Barker

About Bartholomew Barker

Bartholomew Barker was born and raised in Ohio, studied in Chicago, worked in Connecticut for nearly twenty years before moving to Hillsborough, North Carolina where he makes money as a computer programmer to fund his poetry habit.

Suicidal Voter Guide

Try to keep your head out of the oven for just one more month. Unless it’s an electric then walk away from the window and go to your polling place. Unless you live in a ranch then leave the pills … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged | 5 Comments

Tick-Tock

Tick-Tock Your television is getting desperate. Soon it will yell accusations and promises, innuendo and fevered dreams. The clock is counting down to Election Day. There’s a reason they spend money on advertising. It works. There are enough stupid people … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Ruthless

Ruthless Being ruthless at chess, clearing the checkered field of battle leads to victory and all the people and horses return unharmed for the next match. Being ruthless at football, playing to injure your opponent only leads to escalating violence, … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged | Leave a comment

That Uncle is Coming to Thanksgiving

That Uncle is Coming to Thanksgiving He used to keep his racist, sexist, homophobic opinions to himself but he discovered the internet and now believes it’s okay to give full voice to whatever his scattered friends in their white privileged … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged | 4 Comments

We the People

It used to be that Labor Day was when campaigns began so things might get a little more political around here. We the People If you believe in Democracy, you should register to vote. If you think you’re registered to … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , | 2 Comments

My Nepenthe

WordPress let me know recently that it’s been five years since I started this blog. Happy birthday to me, I suppose. Since I first started blogging to help promote my first book, Wednesday Night Regular, here’s one of the poems … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , | 5 Comments

In Praise of Mushy Peas

The first draft of this poem was written at the Chelsea Pensioner pub back in June during my vacation in London. In Praise of Mushy Peas Green as spring Birthed in the garden Plucked by man Bred for the task … Continue reading

Posted in London 2018, Poetry | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Poetry Reading and Prizes

This quickly approaching Sunday afternoon at 2pm, I’ll be one of the featured readers performing at McIntyre’s Books as part of the North Carolina Poetry Society Reading in Fearrington Village. I won’t just be reading from my latest book, Milkshakes and … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

The Sorting Hat

We had a Sorting Hat at the Harry Potter workshop Saturday and I wrote down what it whispered in my ear when I put it on. Try to remember what you heard and post in the comments below. We’ll be … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Magical Poetry

A few months ago, I received an owl from Hogwarts. Secrecy being what it is, I could not reveal the true reason for my recent trip to Britain until now. I have been recalled to my position as Poetics Master … Continue reading

Posted in London 2018, Poetry | Tagged , , | Leave a comment