Author Archives: Bartholomew Barker

About Bartholomew Barker

Bartholomew Barker was born and raised in Ohio, studied in Chicago, worked in Connecticut for nearly twenty years before moving to Hillsborough, North Carolina where he makes money as a computer programmer to fund his poetry habit.


Sturdy I’m looking for a sturdy girl, one who can take a punch to her metaphorical gut when I require solitude. One who won’t fall in love because of a love poem and won’t fall apart when she’s not my … Continue reading

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Election Day!

If you haven’t voted yet, it’s time to do so. I’ll be heading to my polling place during my lunch break. You can read all about it at Oddball Magazine. They just published Blue Magick. Head over there and cast … Continue reading

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Blue Magick

Blue Magick I call upon the spirits of light, the angels of constitutional democracy, of reasonable policy based upon science, I humbly beseech you: Arise! Cast out the demons of fear and corruption. Break the curse of dark money, lies … Continue reading

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Trickle Down

Trickle Down My boss’s boss lives a few floors above. He’s a nice enough guy, we can talk sports but he’s used to sitting in the skybox while I’m in the cheap seats. His boss lives in the penthouse with … Continue reading

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To My Fellow White Men

To My Fellow White Men We’re great, that’s undeniable, we put ourselves on the moon, kicked Hitler’s Nazi ass and ran the English out of America. But all those fine accomplishments with flags and parades were achieved by our grandfathers … Continue reading

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Once Upon a Time

Once Upon A Time A man could raise a family, pay off a mortgage and take a nice vacation every year on a single salary. That’s where I was raised, that quaint country called America. It wasn’t perfect, just ask … Continue reading

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Suicidal Voter Guide

Try to keep your head out of the oven for just one more month. Unless it’s an electric then walk away from the window and go to your polling place. Unless you live in a ranch then leave the pills … Continue reading

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Tick-Tock Your television is getting desperate. Soon it will yell accusations and promises, innuendo and fevered dreams. The clock is counting down to Election Day. There’s a reason they spend money on advertising. It works. There are enough stupid people … Continue reading

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Ruthless Being ruthless at chess, clearing the checkered field of battle leads to victory and all the people and horses return unharmed for the next match. Being ruthless at football, playing to injure your opponent only leads to escalating violence, … Continue reading

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That Uncle is Coming to Thanksgiving

That Uncle is Coming to Thanksgiving He used to keep his racist, sexist, homophobic opinions to himself but he discovered the internet and now believes it’s okay to give full voice to whatever his scattered friends in their white privileged … Continue reading

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